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[jeremy] pff. i could get a girlfriend if i wanted. seriously i could.
[jeremy] CHRISTA TAKES ME SERIOUSLY bcz she's going to marry me. she's going to marry the crap outta me.
[Colin] That's quite hard.
[jeremy] christa i love you. it's the special kind of love that babies are squeezed outta. the love like makes other people afraid of me.
christa gets a rabies shot just in case
[Colin] Now, if Tedd were here, I don't think it would be 'fag' he'd be calling you. Tee hee.
[Colin] 'an ambulance' perhaps.
[christa] BA DUM CHA!
[jeremy] whatever. i'll give him the sack of death if'n he tries to stand in the way of me and my powerupmagiclady

[a drunk me plus nocodeforparanoia equals FUN!|The U.S.S. Everything]
Cast and crew as follows:

  • Admiral So-and-so: [Phyllis Stein]
  • Captain: [Chiisuta|me]
  • [number one|First Mate]: [nocodeforparanoia]
  • Chief Medical Officer: [thefez]
  • Chief Engineer: Perdedor
  • Tactical: [Wickernipple]
  • Ship's Counselor: [yossarian]
  • Navigator: [cahla]
  • Chief of Security: [Chihuahua Grub]
  • Senior Weapons and [The weak and cowardly have no place in shuffleboard!|Shuffleboard] Officer: [NotFabio]
  • JAG: [haze]
  • The Comm Kids: [QXZ] and [Mitzi]
  • Helmsmen: [Walter] and [crux]
  • Acting Ensign: [Cow Of Doom]
  • Transporter Chief: [Chris-O]
  • Lt. Cmdr. of Ops: [Accipiter]
  • Science Officers: [Ladysun], [radlab0], [xdjio]
  • Engineers: [Ouroboros], [dizzy]
  • Cybernetics Officer: [ModernAngel]
  • Security personnel: [mkb]
  • Ship's Empath: [arcanamundi]
  • Ship's [Outta sight!|Bartender]: [Aresds]
  • Computer Voiced by: [radlab0]
  • [the backbone of it all|Guest Stars]: all others
  • Senior Redshirt: [^Davion^]
  • [Red Shirt]s: Noders under level four unless otherwise noted
  • The Borg: [HAHAHAHA uh duh|EDB]
  • Holodeck Simulations: [vruba]
  • Q Continuum Members: [Imprecation], [Cletus the Foetus]
  • Lamar, leader of the Fruitotrons from planet Fruito 7 in the Funky Way: [MacArthur Parker]**

**The Federation will grapple with our excessive Ecstasy shipments and complaints from nearby planets such as Sleepcon 5 and Floridola 4 over the resonating bass. Lamar will make frequent visits to Uwhora (big ol' black faghag diva) and will be caught almost as often as Uwhora in a supply closet or hiding in the transporter room with a random redshirt. Will also bring about scandal as he tries to seduce various major characters by spiking their food and beverages with traces of Fruito 7's rainbow-colored glowing soil.
[loquacious] says Chiisuta loving isn't sweet, it's a bag of rusty nails and spite and canine teeth and ANGRY, ANGRY BEES.
[Roninspoon] says WARNING! Chiisuta is a known female impersonator poser. She is neither male, nor female, despite her Wang. Chiisuuta is likely some sort of previously unclassified plant/meat combination. Like, maybe, a talking bacon dandelion, we don't know.
[m_turner] says I heard there was a movie about Chiisuta -- [Christoper Christine]
[haze] says Trekker trunkbut tightly truncheons timorous trendies.

I know how rough the transition between high school and college can be. So many applications to fill out...the memorization of your social security number...the overwhelming fear of failing miserably and having to admit to your sexy, sexy mother that "Yes, I do suck." And right here, right now one of our own is going through those tough times. Because I want to make life easier for our man [crux], I have graciously offered to write his Yale essay for him. SO HERE I GO!


Hello Yale, my name is [crux] and you want to know about an activity and you want it in 500 words and mostly four letter words if what Perdedor tells me is correct. Ok. When I grow up, I do not want [15,000 Chiisuta clones] to eat their way out of my belly. That is an activity I do not like (liked activities include big [bong hits], drinking and, of course, going to Yale). Now, in today’s strange economy it seems that food costs money, and moneys costs a job and a job costs an education which costs money. Food is the solution to many problems, but money is more. Money to buy food, specifically. Food so that I can feed fifteen thousand (I LUV [YALE]) clones of this girl who I think is an [alien].

It all began one day a long time ago, but not before I turned 18 (if you catch my drift), when I was having a civilized drink with [Chiisuta] and we were discussing the latest polo scores. I had just been remarking on how [Haversham’s new whacker was just not bringing in the doolies] when she, out of nowhere, good God, put forth [a screaming dripping tentacle], touched my forehead (LET ME INTO [YALE] FREE) and then announced that I was carrying her "love child." ([that didn't feel like love it felt like hate!!]) Needless to say, polo match forgotten, I ran to my nearest gynecologist and had an ultrasound done. And what did I see but fifteen thousand tiny blond chicks whirling around like dervishes in my bowels!

To sum up, I love Yale so much that my anus bleeds happy tears, and I need college for a job [for to not be dead] because the babies will consume my living flesh. GO YALE! Oh yeah, Modern Youth 4 Life!!!!!!

[Cletus the Foetus] wrote me a poem:
Chiisuta, intelligent, pretty,
By nobody's standard a biddy,
Drank some gin, met my sister
Talked her into some Twister
And said "How 'bout I slap around them titties?"
Attractive, sagacious, and kind,
Guys just can't get her out of their minds --
Till the bulging wang dandy
She sports in her panties
Gives them all the most aching behinds.
[TheDeadGuy]: I have not personally become acquainted with Chii, but when I do, ankles will never feel quite the same. The quiver when you walk song will sound very different.
TheDeadGuy: like violins from a distant planet where custard has not yet been discovered. Eh. Eh. Eh? Yes.
dannye: Chii is staring down my desires while I'm staring down her dress.

[golem]: trunkbutt is so clean it's like your beaming up into space.
[golem]: i love you. you made me feel like the reason you never comment anything because i heard you like trunkbutt?
[golem]: you must realize that chiisuta is the tits.
[golem]: trunkbutt is a goddamn mystery.
[golem]: chiisuta inverses my tachyon pulse.
[golem]: trunkbutt is a fucking genius, man! he totally saved all those motherfuckers, like, a bunch of nerds.
[golem] Chiisuta: i wouldn't touch her with my e-mail address tacked at the bottom of this picture of my youth.
[golem] a buncha potheads in pismo are. all we ate was ceral...we were very regular. we cut out "post premium" but then we won, and now there's no f in the a.
[golem] trunkbutt has thick node.

[Chiisuta]: golem what is good about trunkbutt?
[golem] Chiisuta: chiisuta is trunkbutt.

[Jurph] Live Chi on Chi action... and look at the crest: it's definitely a sexual display

[zot-fot-piq] I have met los of boys, chicks and androids, and you, miss Chiisuta, are the most beautiful girl in puppetland.

by [grundoon]:
[Chiisuta], her tongue eloquent
She taunted us all with her scent
She was such a tease
Brought E2 to it's knees
and dragged [bones] away, thus content.

by [cow of doom]:
there once was a [ninja] named tang
who was head of a powerful gang
but the noders prevailed
and he was impaled
on [chiisuta's gargantuan wang]

by [Briiiiian]:
Chiisuta is known to go down
a penny an inch around town
and then she met me
considered her fee
and now you pay by the pound

by [donfreenut]:
Chiisuta's a bawdy young lassy
& ribald & naughty & sassy
with verses of blue
and metaphor true
she proves to us all she's not classy

by [cahla]:
chiisuta, damn that girl's got wang
her cock is so large you know she can hang
some think her butt is a bit trunked
but me, nah... that ass is all funk
it's makes me want to scream... SHEBANG!

by [Infinite Burn]:
There once was a chick called Chiisuta
who was all kinds of fabulous lewd-a
each day she would belch
and make jokes about felch
and her equally fabulous trunk-boot'a

by [sighmoan]:
[The Giant Stoned Monkey of Yap]
For [chiisuta's gargantuan wang|Chiisuta's great wang] set a trap
He said of her dong
"It's as wide as it's long
What a feather to fix in my cap!"

by [ModernAngel]:
There was a fair lass named Chiisuta
Who got off on riding a scootah
With her skirt in the air
Flashing her derriere
But her enormous wang was far cutah!

something different by [witchiepoo]:
Chiisuta Chiisuta
the heart of a Buddha
the soul of a poet on crack
a silly rapscallion
with the wang of a stallion
Bright mind and frantapulous rack.

by [Chris-O]:
chiisuta want`ed to deflower
yon virgin what lived in the tower
she shot up her wang
the virgin went "dang"
and fainted with awe at its power

by [jaubertmoniker]:
There once was a girl named Chiisuter
Who wish'd the young men would include 'er
So she rose up and sang
in praise of her wang
(E'en the menfolk were glad she weren't neutered)

by [vilk]:
There once was a man from Iran
Who came upon Chiisuta's wang
On the ground it was spilt
With no tinge of guilt
And so scared was the man that he ran

Visual evidence of the existence of [sexy beeeotches|Noders]:

[Raise Hell. Raise a Barn. Raise our Boys.|My First Time]

[nocode's going away party|NoCode Goes Away]

[Bon Voyage Monsieur DJ|Node Island]:

[Alcoholic American Ambush : A Possibly-Naked London Booze Monkeys Drinking Excursion|Across the Pond]: meet_mar02_002

[Meet Me Tonight In Atlantic City: A Jersey Shore Noder Gathering|Noders find the loosest slots in Atlantic City]:

[I'M GUNNA BE WICKED RETAHDED: Come for the scenery, stay for the BAP (another E2 nodah pahty)|Bahston]:

[HOT DAMN 2! When Ohio's a rockin' don't come a knockin'|Holy Hot fucking Damn]: